This post was originally supposed to be a regular 'ol DIY showing this fun statement wall that I've been working on. It, like the new concrete floor, is finally finished post flood! The lyrics are from the song "Baby, You're My Light" by Richard Hawley, which is one of Nate and my songs. And this is where the DIY post turns into a life update: Nate and I have decided to end our near 7 year relationship and the past couple of weeks have been the most intense and terrifying roller coaster ride I've ever been on. It was completely mutual and we both still love and care about each other infinitely. We just felt like we were no longer our best selves within our relationship and are better suited as friends (seriously, the best of friends- our bond is deep and something that we're not willing to just throw away.)
Nate and I met when I was 20 years old- I was a baby! It's kind of surreal to be on my own after so long. Part of me is extremely excited to find myself again and explore who I am as an individual. Part of me is also so so so scared. Nate is my rock- we've been by each other's sides through some pretty crazy life events. He's also the fun and social extrovert to my shy and internal introvert. I really need to learn to put myself out there again- it was so easy to hide behind him (and I mean that in a loving way not in a "he overshadowed me" way) because it just comes naturally for me to be more of a wallflower. But I'm ready to meet new people and re-connect with friends, go on adventures and explore life, and just be comfortable being me, solo.
It's pretty weird that my last relationship update on the blog was "Look! We're engaged!" This transition is going to be hard, but we've already been so much better together since the split- happier, lighter, more supportive of each other. It's so hard to explain and it is NOT logical (something that has been difficult for both of us to reconcile!) But it feels right and it feels like we've both learned so much from each other and from this experience. I'm so excited to see where both of us go in this world, and I know that having him by my side as a friend is going to be incredible. As for this statement wall, I'll be updating it again within the next couple of weeks because as much as I love him, single Courtney definitely doesn't need our sentimental song on the wall! It's an amazing song though- you should check it out if you haven't heard it and maybe shed a tear or two over how beautiful it is :) Thanks for letting me share- I'm excited to start sharing my adventures and new journey here! xx Courtney
You're brave and strong - not only to make this choice, but then to write about it here. I can't imagine but I'm very impressed. AND happy that it seems like this, although difficult, is going to ultimately be a good thing for you both!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
Thank you for that, Grady! It actually felt really great to write about it and it's kind of incredible how well this is going for both of us. We're both very sad but we each feel so hopeful and happy at the same time. We keep joking that we should teach a breakup seminar!
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